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Heart Superpowers / Big Challenges

Resilience & Purpose

Big ChallengesFacing hard things

Big challenges are part of growing up. With a name for the feeling, small steps and people beside them, children can face hard things and care for themselves.

Jump to an age:Baby Hearts 1–3Little Hearts 3–5Growing Hearts 5–8Strong Hearts 8–12Brave Hearts 12–16
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  • 5age bands
  • 15activities
  • 6games to play
  • 12flashcards
  • 3worksheets
In kid words

What is big challenges?

A big challenge is something that feels hard or scary, like a new school, a test or losing a game. You do not have to do it alone. You can name the feeling, take one small step and ask for help.

For grown-ups

A big challenge is any change or task that feels larger than a child’s usual comfort: starting a new school, sitting a test, welcoming a new baby, moving home, losing a game, speaking up or trying something scary. Facing it well has several parts. A child names the feeling, breaks the challenge into small steps, asks for support, leans on what keeps them standing (people, rest and a sense of purpose), takes small brave steps and then looks after themselves afterwards. Resilience is not toughness or doing it alone. It grows each time a child is helped to meet something hard, and it grows best with a trusted adult close by.

It is not about being fearless. Brave children still feel scared. Courage is doing the next small step while the feeling is there.

It is not doing everything alone. Asking for help is a strong, sensible part of facing a challenge.

It is not pushing through at any cost. Rest, food, play and kind company are part of being strong, and some things need a trusted grown-up.

Why it matters

Small moments, big difference

Hard things are coming anyway

Every child will meet new schools, tests, changes and losses. Practising on everyday challenges gives them tools for bigger ones later.

Feelings shrink when they have a name

A child who can say “I feel scared about tomorrow” is often calmer than one who cannot find the words. Naming is the first step.

Small steps build belief

Each small brave step shows a child, “I can do hard things.” That belief is built from many ordinary tries, not one big leap.

Kind things to say

  • This is a big thing. It is okay to feel nervous about it.
  • What is the very first small step?
  • You do not have to do it alone. Who could help?
  • You did something hard today. I noticed.
  • Let us rest first, then try again.
  • What helped? What will you remember for next time?
Teach it by age

The same idea, at every age

Choose an age. Every activity needs almost nothing, and you can start tomorrow.

Baby Hearts ages 1–3 · The first three years

Adults and toddlers together. No screens needed.

What it looks like. For a toddler, a big challenge may be a new carer, a new bed, a baby brother or sister, a move, or a first morning at a group. Toddlers cannot explain these changes, so feelings often show up as clinging, crying or changes in sleep and play. A calm routine and a familiar adult are their best support.

Ways to help

  • Keep a few anchors steady when things change: the same bedtime song, the same soft toy, the same goodbye.
  • Say goodbyes short and warm, and always say them. Slipping away can make a child watch you more closely next time.
  • Name the feeling in a few words: “New place. You feel unsure. I am here.”
  • Stay close while your child tries something new, and let them move at their own pace.

Try it

Goodbye song and hello song5 min

You need: Nothing

  1. Choose two short songs or rhymes: one for saying goodbye and one for saying hello.
  2. Sing the goodbye song every time you part, with a wave and a hug.
  3. Sing the hello song every time you meet again, with open arms.
  4. Use the same songs for a few weeks so they become a comfortable pattern.

“Goodbye for now. I will be back. Hello again!”

Cushion hill10 min

You need: Two or three cushions or folded blankets, and an adult who stays close

  1. Make a low, soft hill on the floor with the cushions.
  2. Stay right beside your toddler as they climb over, crawl round or sit on top.
  3. Cheer the try, not only the finish: “You tried the big hill!”
  4. If they would rather not, move the cushions away and try again another day.

“A big hill. You are trying. I am right here.”

Visit the new place10 min

You need: A new place you will soon be visiting, such as a new room, group or home

  1. Go to the new place a little before the big day, if you can.
  2. Walk around slowly, holding your toddler or letting them explore with you close.
  3. Name what you see in a calm voice: “A door. A window. A soft chair.”
  4. Leave before they are tired, and talk about it on the way home.

“This is a new place. We looked together. We will come back.”

Little Hearts ages 3–5 · Preschool and nursery

Play, puppets, stories and short games.

What it looks like. Three- to five-year-olds feel big changes in their bodies and in their play: tummy aches, tears, clinging, or a sudden burst of silliness. They cannot always say what is wrong, but they can show you in play and drawings. Short stories, soft toys and small practices at home help them feel ready.

Ways to help

  • Talk about what will happen in simple order: first, then, then. Predictable days feel safer.
  • Use the Five Feelings words: happy, sad, angry, scared and tired. Ask, “Which one is closest?”
  • Play out the hard thing with soft toys beforehand, and let your child be the teacher or the helper.
  • Praise trying, not only success: “You went in even though you felt nervous.”

Try it

Worry Teddy5 min

You need: A soft toy

  1. Sit with your child and a soft toy. Say, “Teddy has a worry about tomorrow.”
  2. Ask, “What do you think Teddy is feeling?” Let your child choose from the Five Feelings.
  3. Ask, “What would help Teddy?” and let your child give Teddy a hug, a song or some advice.
  4. Say, “Teddy feels a bit better now. So do we.”

“Teddy feels scared. What would help Teddy?”

Stepping stones10 min

You need: Paper and a crayon

  1. Draw three or four big circles on separate sheets of paper and lay them on the floor like stones.
  2. Name a small challenge, such as going into a new room, and give each stone a step: stand at the door, say hello, find a seat.
  3. Let your child hop from stone to stone, saying each step.
  4. Cheer at the last stone and say what they did.

“One stone at a time. Which step is next?”

Practise the first day10 min

You need: Two or three soft toys

  1. Set up a pretend new place: a toy school, a toy doctor’s waiting room or a toy new home.
  2. Let one toy be new and a little worried. Ask your child to be the friendly helper.
  3. Practise hello, finding a place to sit and asking, “Can I play?”
  4. Finish by asking, “What helped the new toy?”

“The new toy feels nervous. How can you help?”

Growing Hearts ages 5–8 · The early primary years

Stories, games and real classroom moments.

What it looks like. Between five and eight, children begin to worry about things that have not happened yet: tests, being picked last, a new teacher, a spelling list. They can talk about feelings and make simple plans, and they love checklists and charts. Showing them how to turn a big task into small ones is a gift they can use again and again.

Ways to help

  • Listen first. Let them say the worry out loud before you offer a fix.
  • Teach “feelings first, then steps”: name the feeling, then choose the next small thing.
  • Notice effort and courage in the moment: “That was hard and you kept going.”
  • Talk about a time you found something hard, and what helped you. Adults go first.

Try it

Big Thing Mountain10 min

You need: Paper and pencils

  1. Draw a mountain and write a big challenge at the top, such as “Reading to the class”.
  2. Draw four or five steps up the side. Write one small step on each: choose a page, practise alone, practise to a toy, practise to a friend.
  3. Colour in the first step and do it today.
  4. Add a flag at the top for how it will feel to get there.

“What is the very first step up the mountain?”

Five helpers10 min

You need: Paper and pencils

  1. Trace your hand on paper.
  2. On each finger, write or draw one person who could help you with a hard thing: a grown-up, a friend, a teacher, a neighbour.
  3. Beside each finger, add how they could help: listen, cuddle, show me, sit with me.
  4. Keep the hand somewhere you can see it. Add a name whenever you like.

“Who is on your hand? How could they help?”

Worry into plan10 min

You need: Paper and pencils

  1. Fold a paper in two. On the left, draw or write a worry.
  2. On the right, write one small thing that could help, and one person who could help.
  3. Read it together and choose one thing to do before bedtime.
  4. Tomorrow, ask, “Did it help? What would you change?”

“Name the worry. Now name one small thing that might help.”

Strong Hearts ages 8–12 · The middle years

Discussion, fairness and friendship.

What it looks like. Between eight and twelve, children feel challenges in a more public way. Marks, friendships, being good at something and fitting in all begin to matter a great deal. They can plan, reflect and set goals, and they often want to do things their own way. Support them by asking, not telling, and by treating their worries as real.

Ways to help

  • Ask what would help before offering solutions: “Do you want ideas, or do you want me to listen?”
  • Teach them to split a big challenge into steps, with a day or a time for each.
  • Show that rest is part of the plan: sleep, food, movement and time with people they like.
  • Talk about mistakes and setbacks as information. “What did you learn? What will you try next?”

Try it

Break it down15 min

You need: Paper and a pen

  1. Write a real challenge at the top: a test, a talk, a new club, a tricky conversation.
  2. Break it into five or six smaller steps, and write a day or time next to each.
  3. Circle the easiest step and the one that feels most daunting.
  4. Do the easiest step today, and tell someone you trust what you have planned.

“What are the pieces? Which one can you do first?”

A small brave experiment15 min

You need: Paper and a pen

  1. Choose something safe that feels a little scary: speaking up in a lesson, asking to join a game, trying a new activity.
  2. Rate how nervous you feel from one to ten, and write it down.
  3. Try it this week. Afterwards, rate how it felt and write one thing you noticed.
  4. Share it with a friend or grown-up, and choose the next small experiment.

“How nervous are you, one to ten? What is a small version you could try?”

What keeps me standing15 min

You need: Paper and coloured pencils

  1. Draw a table with three legs. Label the legs: people, rest and purpose.
  2. Under each leg, list what is in it for you: who helps you, what rests you, and what matters to you.
  3. Mark any leg that feels wobbly this week.
  4. Choose one small action to strengthen it.

“Which leg of your table needs strengthening this week?”

Brave Hearts ages 12–16 · The teenage years

Real questions, real life, real choices.

What it looks like. Teenagers face big challenges that really are big: exams, friendship changes, family changes, choices about their future, and pressure from phones and from each other. They want to be treated as capable, and they are. They usually respond best to honest conversation, real choices and adults who do not panic.

Ways to help

  • Ask, “What is the hardest part?” and then listen without fixing.
  • Help them see that stress and tiredness make everything feel bigger, so rest is part of the plan.
  • Respect their need for independence while staying available: “I am here if you want me.”
  • Know the signs that something is more than everyday stress, such as a long stretch of low mood, and help them reach a trusted adult or professional.

Try it

Challenge plan20 min

You need: Paper and a pen

  1. Write down a challenge you are facing and the date it matters.
  2. Divide the time before it into steps. For each, note what you need and who could help.
  3. Add three things that keep you steady during this time, such as sleep, a walk, music or time with a friend.
  4. Choose a day to check how the plan is going, and be ready to change it.

“What is the plan, and what keeps you steady while you do it?”

Kind coach voice15 min

You need: Paper and a pen

  1. Write down what your inner voice says when something is hard. Be honest.
  2. Imagine a good friend in the same situation. What would you say to them?
  3. Rewrite your inner voice in that tone, using true and kind words.
  4. Pick one line to say to yourself this week, and note when it helps.

“What would you say to a friend in this situation? Can you say it to yourself?”

After-care plan10 min

You need: Paper and a pen

  1. Think of a hard thing that is coming to an end, such as an exam, a performance or a big match.
  2. List three things that help you feel like yourself again, such as sleep, food, being outside or time with someone kind.
  3. Plan when you will do them, and put it in your calendar.
  4. Afterwards, notice what helped, and keep it for next time.

“When this is over, what will help you feel like yourself again?”

Play

Try it on screen

Practise it, play it, even build your own. For children with a grown-up, or on their own. Nothing is saved or sent.

The games need JavaScript. The questions and cards below work without it.

Flashcards

Twelve cards to flip and share

Flip them on screen, or print the pack and cut them out.

See all twelve cards as a list
  • What is a big challenge?Something that feels hard or scary, such as a new school, a test or a change at home.
  • Step one when something feels bigName the feeling. Happy, sad, angry, scared or tired: which is closest?
  • How can you make a big thing smaller?Break it into steps and do the first small one.
  • Say it kindly: you feel nervous about tomorrow.“I feel nervous about tomorrow. Can you help me?”
  • Who can help you with a hard thing?A parent, carer, teacher, friend or another trusted grown-up. Making a list helps.
  • What keeps us standing?People who care about us, rest and food, and something that matters to us.
  • You lost a game. What can you do?Breathe. Say how you feel. Say “Well played,” if you can, and try again later.
  • What is a small brave step?A tiny try, like saying hello or putting your hand up, even when you feel nervous.
  • Is it okay to feel scared and brave together?Yes. Brave means taking a step with the feeling there, not having no feeling at all.
  • What can you do after a hard day?Rest, have a snack or a drink, move your body, play, or be with someone kind.
  • When should you tell a trusted grown-up?When something feels too big, when you feel unsafe, or when the worry will not go away.
  • Try this todayPick one small thing that scares you a little, and take just the first step.

Download the printable pack (PDF)

Worksheets

Three to fill in, on screen or on paper

Type, tick, circle and draw here, then print the page, or download the pack. Nothing is saved or sent.

Growing Hearts · ages 5–8

My Big Thing Mountain

Big things feel smaller when we take them one step at a time. Let us climb a mountain together.

2. Which feeling is closest when I think about it? Circle one.

3. Draw a mountain with four steps going up. Put your big thing at the top.

5. Tick who could help me.
My name: ____________heartwise.world · HeartWise
Strong Hearts · ages 8–12

My plan for a hard thing

A plan does not take away a challenge, but it helps you feel ready. Choose something real.

3. Tick what keeps you steady while you work on it.
My name: ____________heartwise.world · HeartWise
Brave Hearts · ages 12–16

What keeps me standing

Everyone needs support, rest and a reason to keep going. Take a quiet check of your own.

4. Tick the leg that feels wobbliest right now.
6. If things feel too heavy, I will tell…
My name: ____________heartwise.world · HeartWise
Talk about it

Questions for the table, the car and circle time

Press the button for a question to talk about.

See all ten questions as a list
  1. What was the hardest thing you did this year? What helped you do it?
  2. How does your body feel when you are nervous? What helps it settle?
  3. Tell me about a time you were scared and did it anyway.
  4. Who do you talk to when something feels too big?
  5. What would you say to a friend who was starting a new school?
  6. What is one tiny step you could take towards something scary?
  7. How do you like people to help you when you are struggling?
  8. What do you do to feel better after a hard day?
  9. What is something you used to find hard that is easier now?
  10. What is the difference between being brave and having no fear?
For teachers

In the classroom

  • Share your own small challenges: “I felt nervous before the meeting. I took three breaths and it helped.” Adults go first.
  • Prepare children for changes such as a new teacher, a trip or a test by saying what will happen and when.
  • Use steps and visual plans for big tasks, so the first step is clear and small.
  • Make asking for help easy: a signal on the desk, a quiet word or a help box that everyone uses.
  • Praise effort, courage and strategies (“You asked for help”) as much as results.

A ten-minute circle: One small brave step

  1. Sit in a circle and take three slow breaths together.
  2. Say, “Something can feel big for a child and small for an adult. All are real.” Share a small challenge of your own.
  3. Pass a soft object. Each child names a feeling word for a hard thing they might face, or passes.
  4. Ask, “What is one small step you could take, or one person who could help?” and collect two or three ideas.
  5. Close with one slow breath and each child saying, quietly or aloud, “I can take one step at a time.”
For families

At home

  • Talk about changes before they happen, in plain words, and say what will stay the same.
  • Make time for rest, play and time together when things are busy. These are not extras.
  • Share a story of your own about facing something hard, including a time you asked for help.
  • Let children try small hard things on their own, and be near enough to help when they ask.

Around the table

  • What was something hard today? What helped?
  • Is there anything coming up that you feel nervous about?
  • Who was kind to you this week?
  • What is one brave thing you saw someone do?
  • What would make tomorrow feel a little easier?
Go deeper

Books and tools that go with this superpower

Cover of The Foundation
Paper

The Foundation

Parents, teachers and anyone who shapes a child
Cover of HeartWise Parenting
Book

HeartWise Parenting

Parents of children of all ages
Cover of HeartWise Strong Hearts
Educator’s Guide

HeartWise Strong Hearts

Ages 8–12
Cover of HeartWise Brave Hearts
Educator’s Guide

HeartWise Brave Hearts

Ages 12–16
Cover of The HeartWise Teacher
Book

The HeartWise Teacher

Teachers of every age group

Breathe with the heartThe Yet MachineFeelings check-inBuild a calm corner

Questions

Good questions

My child avoids anything that feels hard. What can I do?

Start very small. Name the feeling, choose a tiny first step and stay close. Celebrate the trying. Many children need to practise with the smallest version of a challenge before they feel ready for the real thing.

Should I step in and fix it, or let them struggle?

A good middle path is to listen, ask what would help and offer support without taking over. Children learn from doing hard things with a safe adult nearby.

How do I know if it is more than everyday worry?

Everyday worry comes and goes. If a worry is lasting a long time, stops a child doing things they enjoy, or you simply feel concerned, talk to your child’s doctor or school. A trusted professional can help.

How can I help a child after they lose or fail at something?

Stay calm, listen and name the feeling. Give them time before talking about what to try next. Then look for one thing they did well, and one thing they might try differently.

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Using these files

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© Yasmin Mubarak, HeartWise. Published by Polaricx Education Ecosystem. Want to use them more widely, for example in a training or a publication? Write to hello@heartwise.world.