HonestyTelling the truth, kindly

You need: A soft cloth or scarf

1. Play peekaboo with the cloth. Say, “Where am I? Here I am!” and use the name your child knows for you.
2. Move your face away a few steps and say, “I am going over there. I will be back.” Then come back.
3. Always come back quickly and smile. Say, “I am back!”
4. Use the same words at real goodbyes through the day.

“I am going. I will be back. Here I am!”

You need: A safe mirror, or just your face

1. Hold your child near a mirror, or sit face to face.
2. Make a happy face and say “happy”. Make a sad face and say “sad”. Keep it gentle and slow.
3. When they show a feeling, say it back: “You look tired.” Match it with a quiet voice.
4. End with a cuddle or a calm song.

“I can see you are sad. I am here.”

You need: A cup of water with a lid, or a damp cloth

1. Sit on the floor with a cloth. When a drop or spill happens, say “Oops!” in a light voice.
2. Invite your child to help wipe with you, hand over hand.
3. Say, “All done. Everybody makes oops.”
4. Give a smile or a hug. No blame.

“Oops. We can fix it. All done.”

You need: Two puppets, socks or soft toys

1. Let a puppet knock over a block tower. It looks around and says, “It wasn’t me!”
2. Ask, “What really happened?” Let your child help the puppet tell the truth.
3. Have the other puppet reply calmly: “Thank you for telling me. Let’s build it again.”
4. Swap, and let the child play the helper puppet.

“What could the puppet say that is true?”

You need: Nothing

1. Explain: a happy surprise is a secret that ends soon with a happy smile, like a birthday present.
2. Explain: a worry secret makes your tummy feel odd or unsafe. We always tell a trusted grown-up about those, even if someone says not to.
3. Say little examples and let the child show a thumb up for a happy surprise or a thumb down for a worry secret.
4. Name two trusted grown-ups together, such as a parent, a teacher or a nana. Remember they can tell them anything.

“If a secret makes your tummy feel unsafe, tell a trusted grown-up.”

You need: Nothing

1. Take turns saying one real thing (“I am sitting on the floor”) and one pretend thing (“I am a dragon!”).
2. The other player calls out “Real!” or “Pretend!” Then both laugh.
3. Ask, “What is fun about pretend? What is good about real?”
4. End by agreeing: pretend is for play. Real is for telling what happened.

“That sounds like pretend. Tell me what really happened.”

You need: Nothing

1. Say a situation, such as “Your friend shows you a drawing you do not love.”
2. Brainstorm three things you could say. Sort them into true, kind, both or neither.
3. Choose the best one that is both true and kind, like “I like the colours. Tell me about it.”
4. Practise saying it aloud in a friendly voice.

“What could you say that is both true and kind?”

You need: Paper and a pen

1. Make a list of tiny things children sometimes say to avoid trouble, like “I did not touch it” or “I already brushed my teeth.”
2. Next to each, write what a brave, honest version would be, like “I did touch it. I am sorry.”
3. Act a few out. Talk about how each one feels to say.
4. Choose one brave line to try this week.

“What would the brave, true version sound like?”

You need: Paper and crayons

1. Draw a ladder with four rungs.
2. Label them from the bottom: 1. Stop and breathe. 2. Say what happened. 3. Say sorry. 4. Put it right.
3. Pick a pretend mistake, like a broken pencil, and climb the ladder together, rung by rung.
4. Colour it in and put it where you can see it.

“What is the next rung?”

You need: Paper and pens

1. In pairs, each person writes a small piece of work, such as a poem, a drawing or a plan.
2. Swap and give feedback in three steps: one thing you like, one question you have, one suggestion.
3. Receive the feedback without arguing. Just say, “Thank you.”
4. Talk about how honest and kind feedback felt, and how to ask for it from a friend.

“One thing I like, one thing I wonder, one thing to try.”

You need: Three sheets of paper marked Private, Unsafe secret, Lie

1. Put the three sheets on the floor. Read out small scenarios one at a time.
2. Examples: keeping a diary closed, a friend telling you something that worries you about their safety, saying you were at home when you were not.
3. The group moves to the sheet they think fits and explains why.
4. Finish by agreeing: if a secret makes you feel unsafe or worried, tell a trusted grown-up.

“Is this private, an unsafe secret or a lie? What makes you think so?”

You need: Paper and a pen

1. Draw two columns: “What I said” and “What I really felt”.
2. Think of a moment when you said “I’m fine” or “It’s okay” and did not mean it. Fill in both columns.
3. Write a different line you could use next time, like “I am a bit upset, but I will be okay.”
4. Pick one trusted person you could use this line with.

“I am not fully fine. I am a bit… and I would like…”

You need: Paper and a pen

1. Think of a real or imagined mistake that someone else was affected by.
2. Write three short parts: what happened (facts only), how it may have affected the other person, and what you could do to put it right.
3. Cross out any excuses, like “but” and “only”. Read it aloud.
4. Decide how and when you would share it, in person, in writing or with someone’s help.

“Here is what happened, and here is what I would like to do about it.”

You need: A phone or paper

1. Look at a real or imagined message, post or rumour before it gets passed on.
2. Ask three questions: Do I know it is true? Could it hurt someone? Is it mine to share?
3. Decide: share, change, or leave it.
4. Talk about what makes it hard to say no to passing something on, and what a good friend would do.

“Do I know this is true? Is it mine to share?”

You need: Paper or a notes app

1. Write down a story you tell yourself, such as “I don’t care what they think” or “I’m fine.”
2. Next to it, write what might be more truthful, like “I do care, and it stings.”
3. Name the feeling. Use the Five Feelings or a word of your own.
4. Pick one trusted person or one kind action that would help with that feeling.

“What is the honest version of this story?”