HeartWise

Heart Superpowers / Respect

Empathy & Connection

RespectTreating everyone with care

Respect means treating people, places, things and ourselves with care. It goes both ways, and adults go first.

  • 5age bands
  • 15activities
  • 6games to play
  • 12flashcards
  • 3worksheets
In kid words

What is respect?

Respect means being kind and careful with people, with things and with yourself. You listen, you take turns and you use kind words. Everyone can give respect, and everyone can get it.

For grown-ups

Respect is treating others, and ourselves, as people who matter. It shows up in how we listen, take turns, speak and use shared things and places. It also means accepting that people are different: in their families, cultures, abilities, opinions and feelings. Respect is not fear or obedience, and it cannot be demanded into being. It grows when it is given and received in both directions, so in HeartWise adults go first. Children learn what respect feels like by being respected, and they practise it in small ordinary moments every day.

It is not obedience or fear. A child who is simply scared of an adult is not learning respect, only learning to hide.

It is not agreeing with everyone. We can respect a person and still disagree, or say no.

It is not one-way. Adults and children both give respect and both deserve it.

Why it matters

Small moments, big difference

It helps everyone feel safe

When people are treated with care, they can relax, learn and play. Respect makes a room feel like a place where you belong.

It makes friendship and teamwork easier

Listening, taking turns and using kind words help children solve problems without as many fights. They also help children be someone others want to work with.

It starts with being respected

A child who is listened to and spoken to kindly learns what respect looks like, and has a pattern to copy. That includes respect for themselves.

Kind things to say

  • Thank you for waiting. I know that was hard.
  • I hear you. Tell me more.
  • You can say no to that. Let us find a kind way to say it.
  • I got that wrong. I am sorry. Let me try again.
  • People are different, and that is okay.
  • Your body is yours. You get to decide about hugs.
Teach it by age

The same idea, at every age

Choose an age. Every activity needs almost nothing, and you can start tomorrow.

Baby Hearts ages 1–3 · The first three years

Adults and toddlers together. No screens needed.

What it looks like. Toddlers cannot yet understand respect as an idea, but they feel it. They notice whether a grown-up listens, asks before picking them up and speaks gently. Their first practice is gentle hands, waiting a moment and waving hello. Everything they learn comes from what they see you do.

Ways to help

  • Tell your child what you are about to do: “I am going to pick you up now.” This shows them their body matters.
  • Show gentle hands on soft toys, pets and people: “Gently. Soft touch.”
  • Say please and thank you to your child, and to others in front of them.
  • Keep waiting short and give a job: “One minute, then your turn. Can you hold my hand?”

Try it

Gentle hands5 min

You need: A soft toy

  1. Sit with your toddler and a soft toy.
  2. Stroke the toy slowly with your hand. Say “gentle.”
  3. Help your toddler stroke it too, with your hand over theirs.
  4. Give the toy a cuddle and say thank you to the toy together.

“Gentle hands. Soft and slow.”

Hello and goodbye5 min

You need: Nothing

  1. Practise waving with a big smile. Say “hello” as you wave.
  2. Wave goodbye to a toy, a cup or the door. Say “bye bye.”
  3. Next time you meet someone, let your child wave if they want to. Never push.
  4. Cheer quietly: “You said hello.”

“We say hello when we see someone. We say bye bye when we go.”

My turn, your turn5 min

You need: A large soft ball or a cushion, and stay close

  1. Sit facing your toddler on the floor.
  2. Roll the ball and say “my turn.” Wait for it to come back.
  3. Say “your turn” as they roll it to you.
  4. Keep it short and finish before they get tired.

“My turn. Your turn. We are sharing.”

Little Hearts ages 3–5 · Preschool and nursery

Play, puppets, stories and short games.

What it looks like. Preschoolers are learning that other people have feelings and wishes of their own. They can say please and thank you, and they love being helpful. Waiting and sharing are still very hard, and that is normal. They learn respect best from stories, play and a calm adult who shows how.

Ways to help

  • Catch it and name it: “You waited for your turn. That was respectful.”
  • Teach a short script for no: “No, thank you. I do not want that.”
  • Ask before touching: “Can I have a hug?” Then accept the answer.
  • Care for things together: “This is our book. Let us turn the pages gently.”

Try it

Kind words, unkind words10 min

You need: Nothing, just two toys or puppets

  1. Let one puppet say something unkind, such as “Go away!” in a puppet voice.
  2. Ask your child, “How does the other puppet feel?”
  3. Let the puppet try again with a kind way: “Please can I have some space?”
  4. Ask your child to choose the kind words for next time.

“Both of these say no. Which one feels kinder?”

Caring for our things10 min

You need: A few books, toys or cushions from the room

  1. Tell your child you are going to look after the things in the room.
  2. Show them how: turn pages gently, put toys back in a basket, wipe a table.
  3. Let them choose one job and do it with you.
  4. Say thank you and look at the tidy space together.

“We look after our things so we can enjoy them.”

Stop means stop10 min

You need: Space to move

  1. Play a gentle tickle or chase game with your child.
  2. Pause and say, “If you want me to stop, say stop.” Practise saying it.
  3. Play again. When they say stop, stop at once, even if they are laughing.
  4. Say, “You said stop and I listened.”

“When you say stop, I stop. When I say stop, you stop.”

Growing Hearts ages 5–8 · The early primary years

Stories, games and real classroom moments.

What it looks like. Children aged five to eight care a great deal about fairness. They notice when rules are broken and when someone is left out, and they can say how they feel. They are learning to take turns, listen and disagree without hurting. They can start to see that families and ways of living differ and that each is normal to the people in it.

Ways to help

  • Practise taking turns in conversation: hold a spoon or pencil and only the holder speaks.
  • Describe the behaviour, not the child: “Pushing is not okay. You are a good friend who made a mistake.”
  • When children notice differences, be curious and kind: “Yes, her family does it differently. Let us ask about it.”
  • Treat their no seriously, where it is safe: “Thank you for telling me you did not want that.”

Try it

Talking stick10 min

You need: A pencil or spoon

  1. Sit in a circle or around a table.
  2. Pass the pencil. Only the person holding it talks; everyone else listens.
  3. Each person shares one thing they liked today. They may pass.
  4. Afterwards ask, “What was it like to be listened to?”

“When you hold the stick, I listen with my whole body.”

Same and different10 min

You need: Paper and pencils

  1. Draw your family, home or favourite place, however it is.
  2. Look at someone else’s drawing and say one thing you notice and like.
  3. Ask a respectful question: “What is this?” or “Tell me about this.”
  4. Talk about how families and homes can be different and each still feels like home.

“I notice that your picture is different from mine. I would like to know more.”

Say no kindly10 min

You need: Nothing

  1. Make up a small scene: a friend asks to borrow your pencil case and you would rather not lend it.
  2. Practise a kind no: “No, thank you. I would rather keep it today.”
  3. Practise hearing a no too: “Okay. Thanks for telling me.”
  4. Swap roles and talk about how each one felt.

“No can be kind. Try: “No, thank you. Maybe another time.””

Strong Hearts ages 8–12 · The middle years

Discussion, fairness and friendship.

What it looks like. Between eight and twelve, children care about fairness, belonging and being taken seriously. Friendship groups can become tricky, and teasing can start. They are ready to talk about boundaries, about speaking up for others and about the difference between a joke and an unkind remark. They also notice quickly when adults say one thing and do another.

Ways to help

  • Talk about boundaries as a two-way idea: “I can say what I am okay with, and I listen to yours.”
  • Teach the difference between joking with someone and joking at them. Ask how the person feels.
  • Respect their privacy where it is safe, such as knocking before you enter, and ask for the same.
  • Let them disagree. “I hear that you see it differently. Tell me why.”

Try it

Joke or hurt?15 min

You need: Paper and pens

  1. Write three imaginary comments friends might make to each other.
  2. For each one, ask: Would the other person laugh? Could it hurt? How do we know?
  3. Rewrite one so it keeps the humour but is kind.
  4. Agree on one question to ask yourself before you joke: “Will we both be laughing?”

“How would this feel to hear? Are we both laughing?”

Boundaries map15 min

You need: Paper and pens

  1. Draw three circles inside each other. Label the middle one “me”.
  2. Write who goes in each circle: who can hug me, who can borrow my things, who knows my secrets.
  3. Talk about how it is okay for circles to be different for different people.
  4. Write one kind way to say, “That is not okay with me.”

“My boundary is my choice. Yours is your choice too.”

Respect audit15 min

You need: Paper and pens

  1. Choose one place: a classroom, a bus, a lunch queue or a family kitchen.
  2. List five small signs of respect there, such as holding a door, waiting your turn or tidying up.
  3. List one thing that could be better, and one thing you could do about it.
  4. Try your idea for one week and report back.

“What does respect look like here? What could we try?”

Brave Hearts ages 12–16 · The teenage years

Real questions, real life, real choices.

What it looks like. Young people aged twelve to sixteen want to be treated as capable, and they notice quickly when they are not. They are working out their own values, how to disagree, and how to hold boundaries with friends, families and online. Respect now often means making room for difference while staying true to themselves. Talk with them rather than at them.

Ways to help

  • Ask for their view before giving yours, and show you listened by repeating a point back.
  • Model respectful disagreement: “I see it differently, and I would like to hear your reasons.”
  • Talk about online respect: kind messages, asking before sharing a photo and stepping away from pile-ons.
  • Keep agreements. If you promise a conversation or a lift, do it, or say honestly why not.

Try it

Disagree well20 min

You need: Pairs, paper

  1. Pick a harmless topic you can honestly disagree on, such as the best way to spend a weekend.
  2. Each person speaks for one minute while the other listens without interrupting.
  3. Each repeats the other’s main point before replying.
  4. Talk about what made it feel respectful, and what made it hard.

“Let me check I have understood you. You said…”

Respect online15 min

You need: Paper or a notes app

  1. Write three rules for how you want to be treated online, and three for how you will treat others.
  2. Choose one situation, such as a photo being shared or a group chat turning nasty.
  3. Plan one kind and safe response, including who you would tell.
  4. Agree to review the rules in a month.

“Would I say this if they were in front of me?”

A respectful no15 min

You need: Pairs

  1. Write a real or imagined situation where you need to say no, to a friend, a team, a family request or a group plan.
  2. Practise three versions: too soft, too harsh and respectful and clear.
  3. Choose words that are honest, short and kind.
  4. Say them out loud to a partner and swap feedback.

“No, I am not comfortable with that. Thanks for understanding.”

Play

Try it on screen

Practise it, play it, even build your own. For children with a grown-up, or on their own. Nothing is saved or sent.

The games need JavaScript. The questions and cards below work without it.

Flashcards

Twelve cards to flip and share

Flip them on screen, or print the pack and cut them out.

See all twelve cards as a list
  • What is respect?Treating people, things, places and ourselves with care.
  • Who goes first at home and at school?Adults. Children learn respect by being respected.
  • Say it kindly: you want a turn.“Can I have a turn when you are done?”
  • Say it kindly: you do not want a hug.“No hug today, but I can wave.”
  • Is respect the same as obeying?No. Respect is care going both ways. It is not fear.
  • Name three ways to listen well.Look at the person. Stay quiet until they finish. Say back what you heard.
  • Can you respect someone and disagree?Yes. “I see it differently, and I want to hear why.”
  • A friend’s family is different from yours.That is okay. Every family has its own way. Be curious and kind.
  • How can we respect a place?Put things back, keep it clean, use a quiet voice where people are resting.
  • What does respecting yourself look like?Resting when you are tired, saying no when something is not okay, speaking about yourself kindly.
  • Joke or hurt?Ask: are we both laughing? If not, stop and say sorry.
  • Something feels unsafe or wrong.Say no, move away and tell a trusted grown-up. You are never in trouble for telling.

Download the printable pack (PDF)

Worksheets

Three to fill in, on screen or on paper

Type, tick, circle and draw here, then print the page, or download the pack. Nothing is saved or sent.

Growing Hearts · ages 5–8

Respect in my day

Respect is care for people, things, places and ourselves. Let us notice where it happens.

1. Draw a time someone showed you respect, such as listening, waiting or saying thank you.

2. Tick the things that show respect.
4. How might a child feel when someone talks over them? Circle one.
My name: ____________heartwise.world · HeartWise
Strong Hearts · ages 8–12

Respect goes both ways

Respect is given and received. Think about how it works in your life.

3. Tick the boundaries you would like people to respect.
My name: ____________heartwise.world · HeartWise
Brave Hearts · ages 12–16

My respect map

Respect looks different in different places. Map what it means for you.

3. Tick the things you could try.

4. Draw a map of the people in your life and who you would trust with your private thoughts.

My name: ____________heartwise.world · HeartWise
Talk about it

Questions for the table, the car and circle time

Press the button for a question to talk about.

See all ten questions as a list
  1. Tell me about someone who always makes you feel respected. What do they do?
  2. What is the difference between respect and being scared of someone?
  3. How can you tell when someone does not want a hug or a joke?
  4. What does respect look like when two people disagree?
  5. How do we show respect for a place, like a classroom, a park or a home?
  6. Should adults earn respect from children? Should children earn respect from adults?
  7. How do you want people to speak to you when they are upset?
  8. What does it mean to respect yourself?
  9. Why do you think families and cultures do things differently? What can we learn?
  10. When is it hard to say no? What could make it easier?
For teachers

In the classroom

  • Go first. Say please and thank you to the children, listen when they speak and apologise when you get it wrong.
  • Agree class expectations together, in positive words (“We listen to each other”) rather than a list of don’ts.
  • Greet each child by name every day. It is a small act that tells them they matter.
  • Keep corrections private where you can, and describe what you saw rather than labelling the child.
  • Make difference visible and welcome: different languages, families, abilities and ways of doing things belong in the room.

A ten-minute circle: What does respect sound like?

  1. Sit in a circle. Take three slow breaths together.
  2. Pass a soft object. Each child can finish the sentence, “Respect sounds like…” or pass.
  3. Collect the ideas on a board in the children’s words.
  4. Ask, “What does respect look like when someone is different from me?” and take two or three ideas.
  5. Close with one respectful thing each person will try today.
For families

At home

  • Use the words you hope to hear. If you want please and thank you, say them to your child.
  • Ask before hugging, tickling or taking something from your child. Let them see you accept their answer.
  • When you lose your temper, say so and repair it: “I raised my voice and that was not respectful. I am sorry.”
  • Include children in making family rules, and let rules apply to adults too, where it fits.

Around the table

  • When did someone listen to you well today?
  • Is there a rule at home you think is fair? One you would like to talk about?
  • How could we show respect to someone who lives or works near us?
  • What is one way you showed respect to yourself today?
  • What is something different about another family or culture that you find interesting?
Questions

Good questions

Should children respect adults automatically?

Children do best when respect goes both ways. Adults who listen, explain and keep their promises usually find that children learn to do the same. Clear limits and respect can sit together.

How do I teach respect without being strict or harsh?

Calm, kind and clear is a good place to start. Describe what you see, say what you expect and model it yourself. Harshness teaches fear, while steady care teaches the habit.

What if my child is rude?

Rudeness often hides tiredness, worry or a big feeling. Stay calm, name what you see, and come back to it when you are both settled. Then help your child find kinder words.

What if respect is different in our family or culture?

Families have many ways to show respect, such as greetings, titles, silence or eye contact. Talk about your own ways, and be curious about others. The heart of respect is the same: caring about each other.

Using these files

These files are free to print and photocopy for your own home, classroom or team, and to use with the children and colleagues you teach or work with. Please share the link to this page rather than the files themselves. Please do not sell the files, change them, or remove the HeartWise name and credit.

© Yasmin Mubarak, HeartWise. Published by Polaricx Education Ecosystem. Want to use them more widely, for example in a training or a publication? Write to hello@heartwise.world.